hello deer readurds,
turday's subject iz: THE BUS FROM HELL.
THE BUS FROM HELL, alsso known az the montreal 105 (shurbruke) iz an express bus from hell dat takez you down all 9 levelz of hell, from the hot poopy smelly fire land to the lowest level dat iz all frozen ice creem wit satan.
the 105 waz dezigned in 1873 by the same persun who creaturded gay-concordya metro stashion: billy bob bobbett, a homo rednek from texas. becoz he iz az dumb az a rock, billy bob made a bus line dat iz gay and completelys retarded. dis made him the montrehaul homo publyc transportashion presidant (the S.T.M., aka suxx too much). hiz catchphrayze iz "i needz new diapur!"
so wat iz lyke to ryde bus from hell? well furstly, the 105 iz alwayz full of smelly ugly peupel. the STM hirez homelesss uglyes to make shure dat dere iz never a pretty bus ryde. UGLAY, juss lyke the bus. you will want to burn your eyez afturd ryding dis crap.
secuntly, the 105 followz a crazee clock dat jamz and jumpz all the tyme, giving crazeee hourz lyke -43pm and 0.34/56 o'clock. dis makez the nosense of the bus and makez you wait 439841938 hourz at busstop and want to killself! :)
u know how in the byble wit jesus dere are 7 sinz?? well here are 7 poop demonz dat you will encounturd in the 105:
1. swetty gym man
he iz big and smellz lyke lawker room. beware of his huge nike bag, it may hit u in the face twice. he will have trouble breething and ware tyte sweatpantz so everyone can see hiz ballz and peenus.
2. old laydee wit cart
aka the slowest thing in universe, do everything to pass her! she goes in bus wit GIANT sharpened metal cart wit 2000 smelly plastique bagz insyde. she will cut you wit cart if youre in the way and take pleazure from it. she smellz lyke dying and will cough everywhere to share fun dizeazes!
3. teen gurl on fone
she iz LOUDD. she will be wit boyfren on her fone and in a fyght wit him. you will want her to silence but she will keep talking on fone forever. she will be sayin thingz lyke: "ya know" "so lyke" and "whateeevurd"
4. 1,000,000 studentz
get ready for bonez to be krushed to piecez!!! there are 2721 studentz who will enter the bus and krush you wit dere big school bagz. dey will also smell (no deo) and talk EXTRA LOUD, all at the same time. dey will keep moving and dancing every 2 secondz to krush your feet! dont fite back; dey only kidz. be nice and let the chrildren rape your soul. :)
5. woman wit baby carige
make space! big mama and her baybay have enturd the bus. if you lucky dere will be 3 mamas wit double carriagez (the larger onez wit 2 babiez, side by side). if extra lucky she will also be OBESE AND pregnant wit twinz too (dat iz one heavy mama!!!). she will be hitting everyonez legz as she leavez bus, and it will take her 4 hourz to exit becoze she will keep hitting and getting stuck on sides of door.
6. creepie man
if you woman, get reddy for rape-y! creepie man iz horny and he wantz to lick you. he iz eazee to find in bus; just look for pair of wyde eyez staring at you. dat will be him. dont turn your back or look away becoze he will do horrible thingz when your guard iz down. oh creepie man, how you make the bus ryde so howkword for womenz and little chrildren.
7. pot smokur
he smellz lyke feet and he will be stumblin everywere! itz the pot smokur and he will be sooooooooooo hy! he will sumtimez spontaneouslie laff out loud. lyke creepie man, you have to look at eyez to trully know he iz pot smokur; dey will be red lyke demon blood.
well datz it for the ryde! believe it or not, you can survive if you go in corner, go insane and looze cuntciousness! you will never be the same afturd, but at least yull have the wonturdful memoryez! :)
THE BUS FROM HELL, alsso known az the montreal 105 (shurbruke) iz an express bus from hell dat takez you down all 9 levelz of hell, from the hot poopy smelly fire land to the lowest level dat iz all frozen ice creem wit satan.
well datz it for the ryde! believe it or not, you can survive if you go in corner, go insane and looze cuntciousness! you will never be the same afturd, but at least yull have the wonturdful memoryez! :) 
iglufest iz cheryshed by all montrealurdz becoz it embracez the retarded! one way it doez dat iz the awesum one-poopy-piece cuntest, where all porticipantz must ware CRAZZZEEEEE GAYE colourz clothing. dis recognizez the fact dat igluefest waz in part inventurded by 80's homelesss peupel who were too lazey to takeoff their coatz.
the fun part of igluefess iz, of coarse, the wondurfull weather you will xperience whyle youre dere; -362632 celsius and if you lucky snow or ice rain!! iglufess testz yur survyval skillz dis way. the tryck iz to keep dancying and looze brain sells to stop feelyng the payne. rememburd to pay the entrance tho; itz 5943942009$$$ dollarz.
dont know the name of the band or dj playing? WHO KARES!!! everibody at iglufesst haz no idea who playz. dey dont even know dey momma name. dey know nothyng, dey juss came becoze deir frendz inviturded dem dere! if you know the dj playing, preetend you dont becoz dat makez you cool and retarded lyke otherz! OOPS your finger fell off becoz of the cold? betturd keep dancyng to keep warm be4 you die! :)
tired yet!?!? time to go home and become syck for nexx two weekz. maybe you lucky and go to hospytal becoz of hippothurmya? man, beying able to dressup az a retard shure made it worff it though!
time to look at the picz of me and my frendz! too bad dat all our facez are red and dere iz wet snot leaking from our nozez, less post dem on faceburk anywayz!!
are you tyred of doing butt exercisez but the nothing happenz?? are you alwayz feeleing the long borring of exercisez and den makez just for more food hungray? are you having the troubel of fat or fat-troubled? oh well, dat sux for you. 
eventurdly you will start the feel of intestine fullnesss. keep pumpying, even if you have the 'i need to poop' sweatz. keep pumpping as long as possibel.
remember the (1) wayz in which you remain the fitness: be a douche, at all timez. dis iz all you need to do in orda to remain free of fayutt. juss look at the guy in the rite picture az he drinkz the laxotive: he makez shure to be the douche and drink laxotive in public. dis iz very importint. to be douche, juss be loud, grunt a lot and make fun of weeker peupel.
sista squirter
