pumping and dumping™

are you tyred of doing butt exercisez but the nothing happenz?? are you alwayz feeleing the long borring of exercisez and den makez just for more food hungray? are you having the troubel of fat or fat-troubled? oh well, dat sux for you. 

but wait! i have sumthing dat will solve alll dis problemz. it iz my patenturded waight loss routine called: PUMPING AND DUMPING™. COPIRYTE © 2012 REGISTURD TRADEMORK. 

so how to do? well furst you need to eat. eat lotz and lotz of food. poutine, pizza, stake, candy, anyting dat will make your stomache very full. when u done, drynk laxotive (the whooole bottle).  YES. den, start pumpying! pump dose mussels! try to avoid exorcizez dat make the contracshion of the stomache becoze dis mite unleesh the bowel!  dont do situpz, or you mite have brown accident.  styck wit eazy stuff. ;)

eventurdly you will start the feel of intestine fullnesss. keep pumpying, even if you have the 'i need to poop' sweatz. keep pumpping as long as possibel.

this iz when step 11 beginz. afturd you did the maximom workourt, it iz now time to poop.  wat makes PUMPING AND DUMPING™ COPIRYTE © 2012 REGISTURD TRADEMORK so effectyce iz the fact dat all the caloriez you burned while exorcizing will now be expelld through the poop! so go to bathroom (if in gym, go to washroom and try to make the shure that no one iz around to hear unleeching).  sit on the turdlet and poop, but make shure to cuntrol it (dont bad dump or over dump!!).  once you pooped, look at it and do heartrate chek (on yourselff, not the poop). dis will somehow tell you how many caloriez you lost!

dis iz a scienticly proven way to loze wayte becoz Dr. Oz talked about it on Opra. rememburd dat once you lost the wayte, it iz very impotent to keep it. herre are sum of the wayz you can keep the slim:
1. act like a douche.

remember the (1) wayz in which you remain the fitness: be a douche, at all timez. dis iz all you need to do in orda to remain free of fayutt.  juss look at the guy in the rite picture az he drinkz the laxotive: he makez shure to be the douche and drink laxotive in public.  dis iz very importint. to be douche, juss be loud, grunt a lot and make fun of weeker peupel.

hopefullee dis helpz you on your jurnee to lozing wayte! rememburd, PUMPING AND DUMPING™ iz the wey to go!!! :D